I used to occasionally enter short story contests and I had some luck too. Much as I enjoy the brief glory of getting published, in the main, it was a complete waste of time.

Competitions state they take all genres but genre writing doesn’t win. It doesn’t even get short-listed. Forget science fiction, horror, comedy, romances, satire and the like. In fact, forget anything in the ball park of King, Heller, Vonnegut, Le Gunn, etc. You’re wasting your time.

And for Christ’s sake don’t write anything with a historical angle. No one – including the judges – reads history. There’s a whole story in those two sentences.

Once upon a time, stories used to have a plot. These days, forget it. Stories with pages of quotes have won prizes. Quotes and lots of beautifully over-written scenes. You might think scenes denote some sort of pending action. Get real.

If your story is not politically correct don’t come bitching to me that it didn’t make the long list. Remember, most of the judges are inner urban dwellers and politically right on, with a degree in creative writing. Some may be totally off their rocker but that’s a tick for diversity.

If you’ve got a website, a LinkedIn site or have been published in the media, be sure the judge or judges will check you out. If they don’t like what they read, see ya later!

What qualifications do the judges possess to make realistic, ‘objective’ and non-biased assessments? In all but the most senior awards, they have published a book or two. A very different set of skills and capabilities is needed to make critical assessments of fiction.

What stands a chance of winning? First person narratives about friends and family. A story with strong characters and by that I mean strong female characters. Think Joan of Arc. Stories on medical depression, MeToo#, challenging non-PC stereotypes and beautiful scene setting do well.

Most Australian writing competitions are fraud-free zones but a number of local and international competitions make used car salesmen look good. If they charge $20.00 to enter, have 500 entries, pay the judges $1000 and yet the prize money is $1000.00 in total. I’ll let you work that out.

The surf calls and soon, Scotland and the Greek Islands.